Basic Instincts!!

They were right!! Our ancestors were animals!! No, I haven’t done any research on this topic nor did Darwin come in my dream and convince me. I could just feel it in me, all that immense force, the raw power, and the ruthlessness of a hunter while I work to reach my goals. I could not but associate these qualities to my ancestors. I could associate the forces within me to the roaring of a sea so much so that I could hear the same sound from the waves and within. The passion which fills me up at times is so overpowering to behave sanely in this sophisticated world. My ruthlessness at work sometimes puts my more suave fellow mates at unease. I sometimes wonder if somehow my ancestral roots are stronger than the rest or the others managed to sever them sooner. I just thought your comments might help me in figuring out J

Communism to capitalism

There was a time when I was completely driven by the communist ideas. Probably it was in my blood with my grandfather being a staunch communist. It also may have got something to do with me growing up in his room after his death though I can’t be sure. Whatever it was, as a teenager, I grew up harbouring grand ideas about building an orphanage chain and visited quite a few orphanages in that context. Then came my graduation days when I started discussing with like minded people and realized what the Chinese once said actually makes lot of sense! (For the uninitiated - “Catch a fish for a man and he is fed for a day. Teach a man to fish and he is fed for life”). So, the idea metamorphosed into building a chain of vocational training centres for youth. After discussions with well-wishers, it further evolved into joining the civil services for the greater good. And by this time, I completed my graduation and moved to mumbai to join my first job. Preparations for civil services were going on with full swing. It was during that time, on one fine day while I was poring over my sociology notes that the power of reasoning struck me like a thunder. What and how much did I intend to achieve by helping a few people help themselves and struggling my entire life to make it happen? It might give me a feeling of self-worth but is it the best possible way? I felt the need to explore, learn more before I can put my faculties to the best possible use. I began to think and Ayn Rand, through her writings, added fuel to the fire. I realized that there is lot more to me than just the sympathetic side I was trying to address. There is definitely a desire to create and produce things, to take the society to the next level, to contribute to the humanity and enable a better living. But, there is an even more burning desire to explore and excel. Preparations continued, but this time for MBA. Communism turned to capitalism and my desire to excel continues, till something else strikes!

My tryst with the Nature

Every moment spent with the enchanting Nature becomes a cherished memory of my life. Probably there is nothing in this world that can match the sound of the sea, colours of the sky, gurgles of the waterfall, mightiness of the hills, beauty of valleys, the serene woods and the icy clouds. I would like to share some of my moments of bliss with all of you.

Ooty (My first visit to a hill station)
Walking through the woods, facing the waterfall, going on a boat ride amidst lush green and serene surroundings, I could still see them all in my mind’s eye.

Lohgad (An innocent trek; Hardly did I know it would turn into a passion later)
Walking up the mighty hills covered with green trees and meeting the icy clouds flowing at great speeds on the hill top was bliss.

Kolad (I love adventure sports!)
My heart missed a beat when I first pulled my feet off the hill to start rapelling. Whether it is sitting under a tree facing the river flow or in a barren land with 20 strangers at midnight or sleeping in self-made tents and hemaks or eating the food cooked in a bonfire, it was a unique experience.

Lonavala (Paradise on Earth)
Sitting right under the waterfall coming with full force and great sound from a few hundred metres height was one of the most thrilling experiences that I ever had. On a drizzling day, you are sure to get lost in the beauty of its surroundings.

Rishikesh (Heard of white water rafting?)
Jumping from 50 ft height straight into ice cold water was more than thrilling. Staying in a tent overlooking a beautiful stream with the brightest sky that I have ever seen was perfect.

The pine trees in Kodaikanal, forests in Kerala, hills in Shimla, parasailing in Mussorie, and the picturesque view in Araku are equally memorable experiences.

In harmony with the Universe

Lately, I have been reading about sun signs from a few books and websites. The more I read, the more I began to feel that they have written about my sign just as I would have written about myself. Except for a couple of points, the characteristics of my sign seemed to me more like ‘I, me, myself.’ When this occurred to me that I am what I am supposed to be according to my planets or what my planets want me to be, I was awed. It is a great feeling, isn’t it, to know that you are moving in unison with the Universe and the entire Universe is there along with you (especially when you have grand plans for yourself and the world around you). Believe in the power of Universe! Silly me :)

Being Selfish?

I knew myself as a sweet girl who really loved and cared about others. Especially when it came to making others happy, I always used to put in my best efforts. I remember spending most of my pocket money in buying gifts for my friends and I used to love doing it. If I got some money in the form of scholarships or prizes, I used to buy gifts for my family. Even during those short trips that I used to go for, if I ever bought anything, it used to be for someone else. Even when I got my first job, I bought gifts for all my loved ones and even paid a visit to the orphanage where my family members used to be the patrons. Once again, I got my first salary after my MBA, and all I did was to buy a gift for myself! As I mentioned in the earlier post, I do love my family and friends as much as I used to or probably more. And I don’t intend to draw any conclusions from this incident as yet, but I just wanted to make a note of this for future reference.

Retrospecting recession...

It’s been more than two years since I have last posted and many things of significance have occurred in my life as well as in the world outside. But one thing which has affected all of us in common has been the recent financial crisis and I must tell you I am glad that it hit the year I have post-graduated from my MBA. It felt worse when it hit and it still feels sometimes but the truth is that while the rest of the world has become risk averse, I seem to be more willing to tread the paths that I otherwise wouldn’t have. It has given me a chance to explore the possibilities in my career which I would have overlooked in normal circumstances. I have also realized that it brought forth my latent networking skills, underscored the love and support of my family without which I wouldn’t have been able to put up a brave fight and demarcated those friends who stood by to listen and offer their 2 cents of advice and encouragement. It has thus brought me much closer to my family and friends apart from adding new ones, and helped me look at things from a more comprehensive viewpoint than the usual one-way focused approach I used to follow. I am glad to say that I am better prepared to take the plunge into my new life and career now, thanks to the global recession at this point of time J

Before Leaving…

Here are few things about Bangalore, the city in which I stayed for nearly a year.
First coming to my mind are the gardens, which I feel, make the best part of the city. Especially the flower show in Lalbagh Gardens is good enough for a flower lover like me to fall flat.
Second, the Bannerghatta National Park, which though not so uncommon, attracted me with its butterfly park, the first of its kind in the country. Especially when you realize that it’s been ages since you have seen one in a city!
Third, the Bengalooru Habba, the cultural festival of Bangalore, where we were witnesses to some brilliant performances from India and abroad. Thanks to Airtel and others for sponsering the free passes to all the performances!
At this point, Rangashankara, the theatre showcasing bright talent, needs to be mentioned. Enjoyed the plays and the ambience of it too.
The frequent showers in the evenings were a welcome if you ignore the roads clogging.
Apart from this, I have to admit that I didn’t find the city very interesting or exciting.
Probably the lack of proper means of transport after 9 p.m. added to the dullness. Though, the Volvo AC glass buses in bright red colour, a BMTC initiative, caught my fancy for a while and the sight of few bus drivers acting as conductors at the same time came to me as a surprise, and I felt that the windows on the roofs of the buses through which you can spot the stars while struggling to place your feet on the floor was funny, the fact is that you need to own a vehicle if you want to explore the place in the night.
In the end, to me, it was just another episode in my long journey…

P.S: While Mumbai changed my life, Bangalore made sure it remained the same!

Life is all about celebrations!!

Celebration of being alive, celebration of Ur smiles and sweet moments, of Ur strong and weak moments, celebration of moments of joy, celebration of Ur love, celebration of those moments of calm and peace within.

Here are a few precious moments in my life -

In the gorai beach in Mumbai

In the railway station in Coimbatore

On the hill top in Lohgad

In the waterfalls in Lonavala

On the window sill in Mumbai

On the banks of the river in Kolad

On the way to boat ride in Ooty

In Raghuleela mall in Mumbai

In kanakadurga temple in Vijayawada

What makes these moments so special and close to my heart? Simple. They are those pure moments in my life, which remind me that my life is worth celebrating.
Each one of us has such moments, don’t we? Try making a list and feel the thrill while I hope that my list grows with each passing moment :)

The only fear…

I am not known to be afraid of anything in particular. Not only that, I am known to possess considerable amout of courage-the courage to speak out my opinion (which sometimes lead to straining of few relations though that didn’t stop me from doing so), the courage to stand up for what I believe, the courage to walk alone at midnight in the midst of pools of stray dogs, and on a lighter note, the courage to kill a cockroach in a TT court (which some of my mates still fondly recollect ;). But, even I know not much about my fears, until I found this and the difference it made in my life. It is that fear which made me maintain some distance with everyone I know. It is that fear which prevented me from entering into deep personal relations. It is that fear which kept me away from all such emotions and helped me in more than one way. At the same time, it is that fear, which leaves me wondering if I should get rid of it to experience something better and greater, whose possibility I doubt. It is the fear of getting hurt. Many questions crop up my mind as this topic arises for which I don’t know the answers just as I don’t know the reasons behind the very fear. Neither do I think reading some essays on psychoanalysis helps. I believe that someday I will find the answer through my own experience. It might be a hard and long route to opt for but in things related to heart, I prefer to trust myself!

P.S: To post this is the most daring thing I ever did!!

My Time

I am quite possesive about my time. How I spend it and what I do each minute is very important for me. Not only with whom I talk, but also what and how much I talk come under my evalutaion at the end of the day. Is there a purpose for what I am doing and do I really want to do it or continue doing it are some of the constant questions in my mind. Behind all this is my belief that whatever I do should add some value to me as a human being. The conversations I have, the books I read, the movies I watch, and the places I go should add something to my understanding of the things around or bring some insight into the myriads of thoughts that cross my mind each day. Not that I don’t care about others but I believe that only when we evolve as a human being can we accommodate others and make their lives easier by showing greater tolerance and having lesser conflicts. To live and let live. I like to help others when they cannot do it on their own but would prefer that they learn to do it soon. I listen to others/their problems but would like to make sure that they really need to be heard. If they have other options, I prefer to be excused. I like the work that keeps my grey cells active but would prefer if it really adds value to those I believe it should. Of all the choices I have, I prefer to choose the one which gives the best returns for my time in view of the things mentioned above. However, there are exceptions. The time spent with nature, with my family and few friends take precedence at any time overriding the rest :)