Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Back to Normal!!

How glad I am to let you all (assuming a virtual audience) know that I am back to my normal life style…going late to bed, getting up late in the morning, studying only when I want to, doing all the things that I longed to…I now feel that I spent the last one and half months in a different world, a world I am entirely new to, wherein illusions of excellency overpowered emotions of mine! (Refer to the post below). I remember ‘forcefully’ feeling glad then at the end of the day coz I spent the day as it ought to be! But then, I knew deep inside that I was not really happy. I felt tied up in some framework without the freedom to choose my actions. But now, I broke free and can do anything I want to and more importantly, be myself. I don’t mean to say that I support disorganized lifestyle but want to stress the fact that freedom enriches the soul. Success and Failures come and go but our soul will be with us as long as we live, or perhaps for even longer, and it is in our interest that we take care of it. As I pronounce this, I am really happy…Am I?

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

What I Lost…

In my pursuit of excellence, I decided not to spare a minute and distirbuted my time among those things that I consider most important for my growth. Yes, I am a staunch believer in Rudyard Kipling’s words’s, “If you can fill the unforgiving minutewith sixty seconds' worth of distance run … Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!” I decided to stick to my schedule come what may, and indeed I was successful. I dedicated my mind solely to the task at hand and refrained from thinking about anything else. I felt I am all set and was excited for a while until one day I had to face the bitter truth. The truth that dawned on to me was that I lost touch with myself. My mind did a quick research and came up with some astonishing facts; facts I tended to ignore all the while. My instant reacting ability, of which I was always proud of, has slowed down. I am not able to respond to different things as I used to before, as it might interrupt my disciplined lifestyle, a lifestyle that I ought to be proud of. I have little time to laugh or think about things that make me happy or things I can do to make others happy. My energy levels dwindled; life has become mechanical, monotonous and sort of programmed. I was shaken to sense this truth, but I know I can no more escape from it. I might achieve excellence in all the areas I chose, but in the process I might end up losing touch with the most vital part of my life i.e my soul. I have always taken pride in my ability to do whatever my heart says at any point of time. But now my heart stopped whispering things to me or perhaps I have no time to listen to it. I forgot to allot time to it in my pursuit of excellence. With this very organized robotic lifestyle, I might become very successful, but the price to be paid rested too heavy on my heart. You may not agree with me but only I know how important to me what I lost in the process of organizing myself is.
Will let you know my next thoughts soon. They might not be the same…
Keep in touch to know more!